A Yarn Lifeline

A dear friend suggested to me that I should be writing about how I am using knitting to deal with the grief of losing my husband.  And at first, I thought, no.  And I responded that nobody wanted to read my moping.  To which he pointed out that I didn't have to mope on my blog.  So I explained that I am a native Minnesotan, which means that my definition of moping is "admitting to feeling a feeling, ever."

But this got me thinking.  I'm not actually that good at writing technical descriptions.  I have the problem of being either too thorough and boring the hell out of everyone, or being too vague and technical and nobody knows what I'm talking about.  I am much better at teaching things in person, where the feedback is immediate and I can adjust my focus on the fly.

But one thing that I actually am good at is emotional honesty.  I have that wonderful habit of actually answering when people ask, "How are you?"  Sometimes people don't really want to know, but I figure if that's the case, then they should have just said hello and left it at that.

So, how am I really?  Well, not great, but incredibly hopeful at times and still reassuringly myself.  It depends on the day and the hour.

And the truth is that I did turn to knitting because of grief.  I turned to knitting because I like it, true, but part of why I love knitting is that it engages my mind in what is right in front of me right now.  Knitting is exactly how I keep from moping all day long.

Knitting is also a great way to control some of my little OCD-like tics.  Like counting.  I actually count a lot.  I find it soothing.  Knitting gives me a reason to count.  Sometimes, I am working on a row that I need to count and I think that I have forgotten to count and then I realize that I actually have been counting all along.  True story.  It's really no wonder that I like math.

And while there are little things about knitting that can remind me of Shervie, it has always been more my thing.  A kind of oasis of me.  I've been realizing that a lot of my identity and daily routine was extremely linked and associated with his.  Some of the hardest things are the simple everyday things, like clearing ice off of my windshield and cooking and brushing my teeth.  Even my last name has become dangerous since getting married. All of these evoke memories of him, some good, some not so good.  Knitting really doesn't.  Especially if I'm working on a new project.

And so I keep working, keep casting-on.  Because it gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and it feels good to be proficient in something.  Knitting has become my brave face.

And maybe I'm starting to branch out and reclaim a little more.  I recently seem to have discovered that I still like math and physics.  And it turns out that my biggest fear: that I'm really stupid and just relied on him to help make me sound smart, is completely unfounded.  Because I loved these things even before I loved him.

My life right now is like a familiar landscape that has just experienced a massive earthquake.  It is recognizable, but it needs to be mapped again.  Everyday I try to pull out my survey equipment and add another area to the known world.

What am I knitting?  Here is the Chickadee Sweater that I am working on for mom.  I'm really digging making sweaters lately.

And the sleeves are even the same length.

Persistence Pays Off

Ta-da!!

They're finished!  They're really finished!  All I need to do now is wash and block them.

Now I just need to get my package from Knitpicks with my Euclan, new sock yarn, and set of sock sized DPNs.

I also worked up another of the Drop Stitch Cowls this weekend for the SO, but I modified it to have a bit of a hood.  After all, he can't use his ponytail to hold it up like a scarf like I do.  You can take a look at the project here.  It is still a bit of a work in progress.  I think I might tack the two corners on top down to the sides, or I might just rip back and pick up some stitches.  I still have to think this one through a bit.

I promise to update the minute I get my new sock yarn and cast on.  I can't wait to get started on my second pair.

About a week ago, I mentioned that I had an interview with a local yarn shop.  I'm afraid that I didn't get the job.  It turns out that it is odd to brace your knitting needle against your hip or belly when you knit.  They were very kind and explained that they would like someone who could teach one of the standard methods.  *sigh*  Oh well.  I have taken this as a piece of good advice and I have been working on not bracing my left needle when I knit.  I figured out that I do already know how to knit without doing this: I can't do it when I use circular needles.  But this might explain why I prefer DPNs.  However, I noticed that k1p1 rib is far, far easier if I knit without bracing.  It just makes it way easier to move the yarn from front to back and vice versa.  As I said, they were very kind to me and I absolutely recommend checking out and shopping at this shop.

So I would like to give a recommendation: if you are in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota, you should check out Steven Be and The Yarn Garage.  They have an amazing selection of yarns and fantastically friendly and helpful staff.

And the April Sock Is . . .

I actually took a bit of a break from knitting for a few days.  My carpal tunnel was acting up.  I actually get it from playing games on my mobile phone, but it is hard to knit when it flares.

So I don't really have much to say about what I am working on.  But I think that I figured out which socks I am going to make in April:

Asymmetrical Cables, designed by Cookie A from the book Sock Knitting Master Class!

I am in love with this book and I want to make all of the socks in it in order!   However, I was thinking about what yarn to use, and I thought that I would save the beautiful green and blue Cascade Hand Painted Sock Yarn for the Almondine pattern.  Which left me wondering, what yarn should I get for Asymmetrical Cables?

As some of you who have been reading may know (hopefully that is at least one of you), I was trying to make the Basic Black Socks for my significant other.  When he tried them on, they were too small.  So I thought, maybe I should make these socks for him.  However, I will not work in black for two pair of socks in a row.  So I found Stroll Tonal Sock Yarn from Knitpicks in Thunderhead.

Once again, if anyone wants to knit along or has any words of wisdom to share on the pattern or yarn that I have chosen, feel free to let me know in the comments section.

A picture of Fritz the Cat for your amusement.

Casting On to New Adventures

I did it!  I made it through the gusset decreases last night and cast on the Big Cosy Cowl!

The hank of Mushishi really is huge.  I mean HUGE.  It is 450 odd yards of worsted weight.  When I untwisted the hank, it was 3 feet across.  So I decided that I did not want to ball it.  I have no patience for balling and it would make a gigantic ball of yarn.  So I improvised.

I give you . . . the yarn holder:

 

Ingenuity at its best.

A bit crude, and you still have to be careful about unwinding the yarn from the skein.  But I think that this is something that I can manage.

Also, today I got the book Sock Knitting Master Class.  I'm very excited to pick up new techniques while working on socks.  The sock pattern for April will likely be from this book. 

The Second Sock Blues

Today I want to cast on a new project so bad it hurts.  But I am being good and working on the second black sock.  I'm just afraid that if I let myself get started on something new, I will never want to finish the second sock and it will sit for several years until I forget which pattern I used and where I was in that pattern.

So for encouragement, I just keep singing to myself, "It's so nice . . . I wanna knit the same sock twice."  (To the tune of Boss D.J. by Sublime.)  But it still is boring me a little.

The second sock or mitten, or anything matched, is both a blessing and a curse.  You know the pattern.  You can do the pattern the same as the other one without too much cursing or problems.  (Well, you can if you remembered to take good notes and count.)  But it is something that you just did, and if you are like me, you will get impatient about moving on and learning new things.

The good news is that I am at the heel flap, and I have given myself permission to start a new project once I pick up the stitches on the sides of the heel and do the decreases going into the foot of the sock.

Part of the reason why I am so excited is that I got the yarn for a new project today!  (This is related to the fact that I had an interview with a local yarn shop this morning.  I will tell you all about that once I know the outcome.)  Granted, I have the yarn for at least 3 other projects, but I have been trying to find this yarn for over a month now.

The yarn is Plymouth Mushishi and I got it in the 09-red color.  And the project is the Big Cosy Cowl pattern by Jennifer Wilder.  This pattern was featured in the Fiber Art Almanac Companion Journal and I have been longing to make it ever since I saw it.  Also, I seem to have a thing going for wool/silk blend yarns lately.

Just as a personality note: normally, I do not make patterns in the same color as the photo.  Often I do not even make them in the same yarn.  However, this cowl just caught my eye, and as much as my rebellious nature tried to convince me to at least pick a different color than the picture, I was in love.

Well, *sigh*, I guess it is back to the sock slog for a while.  The more I work on it, the sooner I can move on.  And I like doing heels, they are interesting and fun.

I will be sure to update if I cast anything on this weekend and I will definitely be here celebrating when the second sock is finished.  I should be done well ahead of my deadline at the end of March.

I haven't quite picked out a pattern for the socks for April yet, but I do have a yarn.  I will be posting more about that before the beginning of April.  I would love some company in the sock of the month project.  So if anyone out there reading is interested in knitting along or even making your own pair of socks of any pattern, I would love to hear from you in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Angie

Hooray for wool/silk blends!!

Sock yarn for April.  Admit it; you are intrigued.

A Quick Project

Today I had a horrible headache and stayed home from work. After finally getting some sleep, I wanted to work on a project, but I couldn't bear to focus in on the black socks I'm working on. So when I finally left the house, I went and got a #15 circular needle and cast on for the Drop Stitch Cowl.

I am so happy with this project. Not only was it quick to knit up, it was an excellent and easy pattern to follow. You can find it from my ravelry page. I have never done drop stitches before and I love them. I love the way they look and it was fun to work.

Sock Update and The Sock Project

Change of plans on the socks.  I have been knitting on these beautiful black stockinette socks for my SO, and I had him try them on tonight only to find that his feet are too big for the socks!  Particularly, the distance from his heel to the top of his foot is too big for the socks I am making.  When he tried them on, they gaped where the heel work met the front of the sock.  He would wear them out in no time.  *Sigh* *Sad-face*

So I guess that I am going to have to finish these lovely socks in the right length for myself.  Life really is soo hard.  I was hoping to make a nice present for someone else, but I am actually making a nice present for myself.  I guess it's not so bad after all.

Luckily, this fits nicely into my new great idea:  The Sock Project.  I am going to try to make a pair of socks every month for a year.  So these are just the first of 12 pair.  I am counting them for the month of March.  Now I just have to figure out how and where I need to make increases to make socks that fit him.  If I figure it out, I will self-publish the pattern.

Works in Progress Report

I've been working on a pair of socks for my live-in SO.  I found a really simple sock pattern and some Heritage Silk yarn from Cascade Yarns and started knitting. 

I think sometimes I find things easy when other people don't because nobody ever told me that it was supposed to be hard.  I've been working these socks on number 2 DPNs and I decided to make them all in black fingering weight, because it is simple and will look good with anything.  Luckily, I picked a yarn that has great stitch definition.  And luckily, I didn't know that black was hard to work with until I was halfway done and used to working with the yarn already.

Next project that I will be casting-on is the Lampwork Hat and Mitts kit that I got from KnitPicks.  I actually was ordering the yarn that I needed for a sweater that I am designing for myself, but the order fell short of their $50 free shipping offer, so I picked this one up.  Because of indecision on design, I will be casting these on before I get started on the sweater.  (I will post about the sweater in a blog post of its very own soon.)  I am looking forward to practicing more color-work.  I've done a few things in 2 colors before, but I think this will be fun.

And as soon as I get the needles that I need, I will be casting on to make the Drop Stitch Cowl out of the gorgeous Berroco Soufflé that I just had to buy and then I didn't know what to do with but I couldn't afford to buy very much.  It will be beautiful and soft, but I do feel a little silly for paying nearly $18 for 100 yards of yarn.

Knitters' Guild Tea

Today I went to my first Minnesota Knitters' Guild meeting.  It was kinda neat.  I have never seen so many knitters all in one place before.  The tea and cake was amazing (it was the once a year Knitters' Guild tea) and it was really nice to talk to other people who knit. 

I have always been a bit of an isolated crafter.  I teach myself techniques and I try to get my pre-existing friends into my hobbies rather than making new friends who already have those hobbies.  I sit alone at home and work on projects.  But I have been feeling over the past couple of years that I could do with a sense of community.  And as I have recently been working on so many knitting projects, I think that this is really a great place to start.  Everyone was really kind and welcoming at the meeting and I was actually really hoping to win one of the gorgeous skeins they had as door prizes.  And how can a knitter resist a gathering where it is not considered rude to knit the entire time?